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The joys of being single
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| The joys of being single |
| By Paromita Bardoloi |
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| I was one woman who believed that when I meet my soul mate life would be worthwhile. Then I would be someone else, and be complete. I held that belief for a real long time. I waited and waited. |
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| In my wait to feel special and “life to happen to me,” I have ended up finding myself. Most importantly, I learnt that I am beautiful and complete as I am. |
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| Now at 27, when I look back, I see so many wonders that being single taught me. The best of all gifts was the lesson of ‘self love.’ I learnt all love comes from within. And from that came immense self respect. |
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| In my early twenties I fell in love with an extremely abusive man. The most amazing part was that he could scare me and make me believe how unworthy I was, that too, over the phone. I hardly met him or spent time with him, but he had the power over me. I cried, sobbed, begged and pleaded to be with him. Of course I was his biggest ego booster. This continued for some time, till I accepted my single status and looked around myself. I stopped “finding the one.” |
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| Now that I came in touch with myself, I learnt the art of putting myself first. I realized that if I am not happy and satisfied myself, I go through a range of negative emotions. In such a state of mind, making someone else happy is almost like a beginning a half defeated battle. |
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| Life gets busy; we graduate from school and then bang on comes the job. There are so many relationships that just lie on the back burner. Though I had a busy life, being single gave me the chance to connect with my extended family: cousins, uncles, aunts and others. Life became so much warmer. I always had friends, but most of time, I took them for granted. After my debacle in the relationship and my morale at the bottom, I found that my old friends were there for me. My bonds became much stronger over the years. Now, I can say, that I have a group of girlfriends who will be there for me, for a lifetime. |
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| What I thought was a passing interest, became a passion. Theatre came into my life like a long lost lover, never to leave me. I got involved with NGOs that were working for the lesser privileged. And a whole new world opened to me, with better friends, relatives, spirituality and work. And most importantly, I found the ‘joy of work.’ I stopped working just to finish an assignment. |
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| Well! I was just working on radio play. I am supposed to write about beautiful women. And I just know, I can write about myself too, because I have seen the rain, the sun, the love and the warmth all by myself and loved it all. That’s my gift of being single. That one realization that “I am enough and beautiful.” |
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